Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Michelin Man with eat your family

The Michelin Man seems harmless enough. He's a big white,friendly,and fluffy guy made of tires - as if he was the Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man's gay uncle. That said, he's not friendly and he'll murder you and your entire family if given the opporunity.

I came across this article on my favorite website The article discusses what someone had listed on the Wikipedia page for the Michelin Man's origins. Unfortunately, it looks like someone took it down but it's probably some of the most creative writing I've seen in a while and makes me think one of us wrote it.

Here's the exerpt from Jalopnik's post on the article:

The company's symbol is Bibendum, (aka "Bib the Michelin Man", "Bibelobis", or simply the "Michelin Man") Composed of stacked, bleached white tires, the Michelin Man is a behemoth of the advertising industry. His feats of incredible strength are matched by none, and his legendary tales make Sylvester Stallone look like Pee Wee Herman. Those who have crossed The Michelin Man and attempted to defraud or defile his name have often been reported missing shortly afterwards. The authorities are looking for any help regarding the missing persons case of Alex Banjodark, who has apparently been missing most of his upper body and head since in 1998. HISTORY: The Michelin Man was created in 1898 by a crazed German hermit named Berthold Heinz-Dieter who lived in a junkyard. Berthold could not stand to touch another human's skin, so he lurked in his junkyard every day, creating crude robots fashioned from chunks of metal and mud. One day an unannounced tire truck dumped off a load of used tires into his lot, falling upon the metal framework for a robot he had previously created to smash in the windows of his neighbor's house. A chemical reaction soon took place and, energized by a strike of lightning, this robot literally "came to life" and immediately "murdered" Berthold. Unleashed upon the public, the deadly robot roamed the wilderness and survived by murdering rabbits, bears, trees, lions, hats, mountains, and other stuff that lives in Germany's woods. He was captured during the US defeat of German forces at Ruhr Valley on April 1st, 1945, and treated as a prisoner of war.

Eventually he befriended a kind-hearted American named Colonel Henry "Sharkface" Sam, whom he persuaded to bring him to the United States. Upon reaching Camp Beauregard, the German killing machine immediately murdered Colonel Henry and his wife and children. Michelin Tires Inc. captured this marauding menace and, through a rigorous series of training events, taught him to refrain from immediately murdering people. They dubbed him "The Michelin Man" and promoted him as "the most trustworthy lump of talking tires that will mostly certainly never immediately murder you." While many trained actors donned the Michelin Man costume and attended various store openings and other promotional events, the true Michelin Man was kept inside Michelin's maximum security prison until 2001, when their leading engineer claimed the Michelin Man was "safe enough" to be released. As soon as he was exposed to the outside world, the Michelin Man immediately murdered the twelve guards escorting him and eventually embarked on a state-wide raping spree in which he violated 48 females, 23 males, nine post office boxes, and a majority of the animals and instruments at a pork factory.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Better than Bond


Go over to Joe Loves Crappy Movies and read his post about Jean Claude Van Damme's new movie JCVD. This one actually looks like it is worth watching. The movie might actually be good. Frightening, I know. To bad for Van Damme that he decided to make a good movie 15 years too late.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Quantum of Solace

I've been waiting to see Quantum of Solace for exactly two years. After seeing Casino Royale on opening day two years ago, I couldn't wait to see how Daniel Craig and the new team of writers continued what may have been one of the best Bond movies ever made. Well, last night I got to see Quantum last night and as a huge 007 fan, I liked the movie a lot. I also recommend watching Goldfinger and then Casino Royale before going.

It's opening is probably one of the most exciting in the history of the series and stands alone as an excellent sequence. What's nice is that the opening indicates that Quantum of Solace picks up essentially 10 minutes after Casino Royale ended. While it is helpful to have that link, due to the change and tone of the movie Quantum's dark overtones and even darker characters stand in stark contrast of the more clean and energetic Casino Royale.

Some of the other more noticable differences are the action scenes. Casino Royale had a few very fast-paced, short action scenes compared to the very long and numerous action scenes in Quantum that begin to hark back over-the-top action of older Bond films. To a point, the plot line gets lost due to the continuous fight scenes and the movie will inevitably leave you questioning why large holes in the plot weren't addressed(see the back story of Dominic Greeene's plot in Bolivia) in favor of fight scenes that are a little too much like the Jason Bourne series.

All in all, it's a good movie but has a very different feel to it. It's still Bond and it's still enjoyable - but he's become a very modern character, one that's visibly a broken man and somewhat of an anti-hero in how he carries out his missions. If you wanted to compare it to a previous Bond movie then look at On Her Majesty's Secret Service. It was the first movie after Connery left the role and it took the Bond series in a very different direction from what it had been. OHMSS didn't execute this transition very well but today, we see Quantum has helped to reinforce the "new 007" that revitalized the brand and character as he's evolved successfully from the joke of a character Pierce Brosnan turned him into. If you're a Bond fan or enjoyed Casino Royale then go see Quantum of Solace.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Damn, you guys!

I know while I wasn't there you guys watched Femalien one night. Well, I guess now I've paid the price for that.

The other day I saw Movie Gallery was having a $3.99 DVD sale.

I'm sure you see where this is going.

I'm browsing, nothing, nothing, nothing... BOOOOOM! Femaliaen!

I honestly thought I was just buying a really, really bad movie but apparently I was buying soft core porn. Fantastic!

So now I have to decide to throw away Femalien, which doesn't really seem like an option. Or for the rest of my life own but have to hide the fact that my DVD collection includes Femailien.

I am at the crossroads of life. And now I kind of want to buy Femalien 2: The Search For Kara.

I will say it's one of the more organic porno's I've ever seen. An alien inhabits a hot female to study human interactions. At least that is some what plausible to have a sex scene every fifteen minutes.

Also, I just read The Dark Knight Returns. Really, really good even though it's not pornography.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Ebert's list of rules

My brother just sent me a link to a list of rules, posted by Roger Ebert, to follow when in the movie critic business. Even before getting to the list, he manages to insult potential readers in once sentence (calling them "mouth-breathers"), then in the next, insult his editors. This guy is great.
You know he is taking this very seriously when the list begins with "Carefully clip the Rules and fasten them to your refrigerator with a Homer magnet". He even provides an image of just such a magnet.
The rules cover everything from how to write a review, to don't be stupid and ask a celeb to pose for a photo (or an autograph).

Here is one of them... go here to see them all.
Do the math. If one week you state, "'Mr. Untouchable' makes 'American Gangster' look like a fairy tale," and the next week you say, "American Gangster" was "Goodfellas" for "the next generation," then you must conclude that "Mr. Untouchable" is better than "Goodfellas."

Sunday, October 19, 2008


I remember us talking about this back in 2002... Apparently it's finally come to fruition. Looks awesome.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Campaign Update: Racial Profiling?

A reliable news source states that Sen. Barack Obama's campaign bus was stopped by Marion County deputy sheriff on Tuesday. Addressing him as "Barry," the sheriff told Obama that "someone 'bout his height, 'bout his skin color knocked out a Piggly Wiggly a coupla hours ago."
Sheriff Clutter then turned to Obama's wife, Michelle, looked her up and down, and wiped his mouth with a handkerchief. (read more)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


For the next marathon we need to watch The Running Man. This is not open to debate. Good gravy was that movie bad, just brutally, painfully bad. It makes Commando look like Citizen Kane (or House Party 2!).

Friday, October 3, 2008

Netflix Movie Watching World Championship

I just came across this site for the Netflix Movie Watching World Championship. The contestants have to watch 56 movies taking approximately 121 Hours. Apparently the Guinness World Record is on the line. There are some messed up things that make it into that book. How is staying awake and watching 121 hours of movies noteworthy? I dunno, but Jay, India currently represents with the current Guinness record holder clocking in at 120 hours and 23 minutes. He's back to defend his title too.
The event started yesterday and is being held in a plexi-glass living room in the center of Times Square. To count as actually "watching" the movies their eyes cannot stray from the screen. A "team of medical professionals" is going to monitor them to make sure they don't just zone out with their eyes open. Damn, some people take this pretty seriously.
I'd argue that I could find a better use of my time for 121 hours, but in reality, I'd probably squander it on, um, watching movies. And sleep. I'd probably throw some sleep in there too.
You can get more info at the "official" facebook site (keyword search: Netflix Movie Watching World Championship).

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Nobody can eat 50 eggs!

I just read that Paul Newman died on Friday.

This may not be the best homage to him, but it certain is a memorable scene from one of my favorite movies, Cool Hand Luke. His character bets that he can eat 50 eggs in an hour. The best part is Paul Newman actually did it. I always wondered if I could do that, but never actually wanted to test myself to find out.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


I was looking to remind everyone of our favorite Holidays movie: SIlent Night, Deadly Night but I found this gem instead, it's review by Siskell and Ebert:

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Sunday, September 21, 2008

"Take that, take that, take that." - P. Diddy

A side project I've been working on.
hip hop & eggs _ episode 1 from hip hop & eggs on Vimeo. Good to do some stuff that's not advertising to keep myself sane.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Banksy hits New Orleans

I came across these pics of some of Banksy's work he recently (Late August) did in New Orleans. He wanted to raise some awareness three years after Katrina and see what was going on there. Apparently in a cab ride through town he said to the driver, "There's still so much devastation - I can't believe they haven't cleaned this mess up." The cab driver replied, "This part of the city wasn't affected by the hurricane - it's always looked like this."

New Orleans is also an interesting place for him to show off because there is a rivalry between taggers/graffiti artists and "The Grey Ghost". The Grey Ghost is a local guy who goes around and paints over all graffiti he sees with either grey or beige paint. While I appreciate his effort to clean up the streets, I also find it a shame that a lot of great art. Grey is so booring, but I guess that's part of the point.

I'd like to imagine the Grey Ghost will at least pause for a moment before he paints over what Banksy did and appreciate it. Hopefully he'll find it interesting enough to leave up... Most of the stuff he paints over is probably not worth remembering, but apparently, he takes a picture before he blots out whatever it is with grey.
Check out the Banksy site for bigger (and more) pics:

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Dick Cheese

Get on iTunes. Look up Richard Cheese. Entertain yourself for hours. This guy does popular songs in Vegas lounge style. Shit be funny, yo.

That is all.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


The new Bond chick, whoever she is, is way too fucking hot to be real.


Mike: (about Transmorphers) This movie might not even be rated.
Andrew: Awesome, that means we'll definitely see some ro--
William: Wait. Were you about to say "We'll see some rod?"
Andrew: .... No?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Underwater Bears, the sequel

Apparently scientists have sent so called 'water bears' into space. The interesting thing is that the scientists exposed these creatures to the vacuum of space and the direct radiation of the Sun... and they survived! Mike, prepare yourself, your worst nightmares will come true... Underwater bears, IN SPACE!!
Granted, these 'water bears' are actually tiny invertebrates about one millimeter long...and most of them died... but if the scientists bred the survivors and then keep sending the offspring into space we will have creatures that can actually live in space with no protection at all... AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD! --- I don't really know how being able to live in space will help them ON EARTH, but hey, why not.
Mike, I'm still waiting for your script about the movie with underwater bears. Scientists are already trying to breed these bears to have superpowers, and you can't let some scientist beat you to a ridiculous concept with his "facts" and "logic".

Monday, September 8, 2008


This weekend I was with my girlfriend on the way to watch the Jags/Titans game(go Jags!) when while listening to a local pop station MIA's runaway hit, "Paper Planes" came on. I got excited because I really like this song and started to rock out to it. At this point my girlfriend looks over at me and flatly says "you know this is the radio edit of this song right?" What? why does it need to be edited ? This song is great, it's lyrics aren't so's popular what the hell did they sensor?

Well, to my extreme disappointment they took out the sounds of the gunshots and cash register "cha-ching!" from the refrain. Seriously...and you know what's funny? It absolutely ruins the song and makes it sound more or less like any other pop/rap song, it removes any "edge" from the song.

So my question is this: What's the point of censoring those sounds? Are people honestly worried that gunshots in a song are going to inspire violence? In a world 20 or so years removed from Ice T's Cop Killer and in a world where kids are playing Grand Theft Auto IV do you really think that this song is going to inspire violence and warp our youths? I don't know, I guess I just don't get it and this is consequently why I don't really listen to the radio much anymore...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I cried...

From laughing when I watched this. It combines my two favorite things from when I was about 3: potty humor and Sesame Street:

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Hershey's doesn't make chocolate

Just as I have been saying for a while. Hershey's chocolate isn't chocolate. The Consumerist points out that the new labels say "chocolate candy" instead of "candy coated milk chocolate". This is because of FDA regulations don't allow chocolate to be called, well, chocolate unless it actually contains the stuff (or isn't mixed with crap).
Besides, Hershey's tastes like ear-wax. Go buy some Valrhona Guanaja. Now that's chocolate.
No emulsifiers, oils, soy lecithin, corn syrup or wax. Yes, wax. Hershey's uses food grade wax in their chocolates. And Hershey's kisses? Well, those are cut with a derivative of peanut butter because they are too cheap to use cocoa butter. Europe doesn't even allow American Hershey's to be sold over there. Hershey's has to reformulate their products to even use the word "chocolate" in the description if they even want the sell it in Europe.

Do yourself a favor, next time you want chocolate, buy some chocolate. Not some chocolate-like mixture sold for more than it's even worth.

And don't get me started on tootsie rolls. I don't even know what those are supposed to be. Crap?

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Simon's Cat

I don't know why, but I found this hilarious.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


Dr. Horrible is Dr. Hilarious!

Go on iTunes and get the free Watchmen movie.

What's this Dark Knight movie you guys have been talking about? I know Mamma Mia just came out, is it related to that? On that note Mamma Mia is the second best ABBA musical ever made! (The first being my inspired masterpiece "Dancing Queen: The Mike Soucy Story")

I lost my invitation to the wedding so now I'm just gonna wander around Augusta looking for Indian people all weekend.

I was watching The Venture Bros. yesterday and they made a Gymkata reference. I thought you guys should know.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Black Knight

Man, I just saw The Black Knight. It was awesome. I didn't what the hype about Heath Ledger was about though, I didn't even see him in the movie. Martin Lawrence, on the other hand, was amazing. And when he decided to go by the name "Skywalker" when he got taken to the past, brilliant. Loved the little details like that. You can tell the director, who also did the pilot episode of Kyle XY and 10 Things I Hate About You (Heath Ledger really shined in this one, he was practically absent in Black Knight), really sunk his teeth into the material here. Awesome.

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Dark Knight! More like The Dark Shit!

The Dark Knight was terrible. When did Eddie Murphy take over the role of Batman? Since when is Batman an alien traveling in a spaceship to Earth that looks like Eddie Murphy? And the Joker wasn't even in the movie.


Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Dr. Horrible's sing along blog

You have only until July 20th to watch all three parts. It's good. Joss Whedon directed Neil Patrick Harris as Dr. Horrible, a wanna-be super villain trying to both impress a girl and join a league of villains. As I said, they will only be online for a few days, so watch them now before you actually have to pay for something. Because we all know that giving money for something that you can have for free sucks.

Watch the first part now.

Monday, July 7, 2008

The Rockafire Explosion

Remember Showbiz Pizza? Or even Chuck E. Cheese's? Well, apparently some guy got a hold of the robots and sets them to his own music... Watch in wonder...

Flavors also come in MGMT's Electric Feel. There is actually a documentary about this.

[via Penny Arcade]

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Evil alarm clock

Man, I have seen some mean alarm clocks, but this one would be pretty bad. It's an alarm clock that calls a random number from your cellphone every three minutes until you turn it off. Wow, there are some people that I don't want to be calling at 6 in the morning. I would certainly get out of bed faster in order to avoid getting calls from people wondering why I'm calling them so early. And think about it, what if you have some ex-'s number still in your phone? or some business contacts? Shit, what if you have my number and I'm trying to sleep in. What I'm saying is... don't get that clock.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Great. Just great...

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The Dark Knight Returns...Again

Good news: Batman is back...and this time he's in pog form!

Seriously though, I was poking around on iTunes tonight and realized that Batman the Animated Series has been released for download. I don't know about you but this is great news to me. Next to Ninja Turtles this was one of my favorite cartoons on TV when I was a kid - I even remember getting up early on a Saturday morning to watch the hour-long premiere of the show! It's a kids cartoon about Batman that is actually a dark, brooding storyline...which makes you wonder how a cartoon for kids is better written and more engaging in 30 minutes than the 4 hour combined time of Batman and Robin and Batman Forever. For those of you who need a refresher, here's the intro for the show:

Monday, June 30, 2008

Quantum of Solace

I'm looking forward to this movie more than I am the new Batman movie. Seriously, if this isn't as good as Casino Royale I'm probably going to cry. Thankfully, this just released teaser trailer looks promising:

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Star Wars

I just can't seem to get excited about Clone Wars. I'm so underwhelmed that I lack the energy to complain about it...

See the trailer here.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

I really miss this show.

Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins

I am really confused here.
Maybe you have heard more of this than I have--considering I just heard of it 6 minutes ago--but there is a Terminator 4 in the works.
And, um, the cast looks interesting: Christian Bale is John Conner. Schwarzenegger is not in it.
Rumor is that it will likely be PG-13, while this was a bad thing for Aliens v Predator, Batman Begins was PG-13 and was awesome.
I don't really know much about the director other than he goes by "McG"... Kinda lame name. [see edit below]
I gather this from the links at Wikipedia:
Christian Bale stars as John Connor, the man fated to lead the human resistance against Skynet and its army of Terminators. But the future Connor was raised to believe in is altered in part by the appearance of Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington), a stranger whose last memory is of being on death row. Connor must decide whether Marcus has been sent from the future, or rescued from the past. As Skynet prepares its final onslaught, Connor and Marcus both embark on an odyssey that takes them into the heart of Skynet's operations, where they uncover the terrible secret behind the possible annihilation of mankind.(link to original article)
There is an IMDB page too.

Making things more interesting is the fact that a teaser trailer will be shown at The Dark Night. I am eager to see it, but, after Terminator 3, have no expectations yet for this. I'm going to try to hold back on wild speculation until I see the teaser. But the rest of you are free to speculate as you wish. You may begin now.

I just came across this which makes me feel a bit better about the director. It's the movie site/official blog or something. The part I like is that he admits his name is ridiculous. He also says that "
the movie comes first and it will be protected at all times" about the PG-13/R rating.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Death Race 9 billion + 11

It's the year 2008, it's been 33 years since someone felt the need to make a movie as bad as Death Race 2000:

The original starred the guy from Kung Fu and sometimes called Bill as Frankenstein who races across the US, killing everyone in the process that he can for extra points. The movie is quentisential camp. It's poorly shot, low budget, has an essentially pointless plot and worst of all it has Sylvester Stallone as Joe Viterbo - probably the most offense stereotype I've ever seen portrayed for Italians. So really, when you think about it there's absolutely no reason why a normal person would subject themselves to this steaming pile of 1970's dogshit. Thankfully, I have zero credit for taste in movies( thank you Point Break) so I bought it. Jay and I watched it and I think the movie was only 72 minutes long if that gives you any indication as to how it went.

Well, again, it's the year 2008 and some jackass in the infinite lack of creativity that is Hollywood has decided to make a sequel(of sorts) of a movie deemed terrible in the 70's. This one stars Jason Statham - who's made progressively worse movies since he was in Snatch - as a former NASCAR driver(He's fucking British?!) who is wrongly accused of murdering his wife and forced to compete in Death Race. So imagine The Fugitive and then remove everything good about that and then add cars with guns and you have you this movie. So to make a long story short - Mike hurry up and move to LA and make good movies. Here's the trailer for the gallon of dung that could also fill one Oops-I-Crapped-My-Pants diaper:

Friday, June 13, 2008

If you can't create, update!

This post is brought to you by John Kricfalusi. You may know him as the creator of Ren and Stimpy. He has this great blog where he breaks down cartoons, good design and generally bitches about things. In his latest post he references this NYT article that craps on everything good about cartoons. To make it more relevant to Andrew. Imagine a horrible re-invention of Batman. Okay, now that you have Batman and Robin in your mind, you know what I am talking about.

Some of it sounds horribly thought out: "Warner Brothers hopes to “reinvigorate and reimagine” Bugs Bunny and Scooby-Doo through a new virtual world on the Internet." Wow, what vision! The internet! Welcome to 1996!

What really hurts me is this: "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will [be revived] next year in new video games where they will have more muscles and less attitude." Yes. Please. Make this generic. I like bland, watered down characters that all look and act the same. I would like a generic punch-'em-up where the characters can be interchanged with any other character. More muscles and less attitude! What!? And they will be surprised when it doesn't catch on. I would not be surprised if one exec recommended, "What if we used people instead of turtles." I imagine that the developers next door are working on a new X-men, but without the "X-" prefix because it won't connect with kids. And let's take away the mutant powers, that could be to hard for a kid to relate to.

Also, the term "fruit-forward" was mentioned too many times in that article... Or not enough!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Andrew, get ready to shit yourself.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Monday, June 2, 2008

Sin City

OK, we're back from Vegas. It was a crazy weekend and one worth every hour of sleep missed and every penny spent to get there and through it. Vegas is a weird place with no inhibitions or limits. I received a text when I was driving home from my friend Emily that just read "Welcome back to reality." Fitting because Sin City is exactly that: a surreal place where the normal laws of the universe don't seem to apply. More on this later..

In flying back I was recapping the weekend on the first leg of my flights back home while stuck behind 3 ugly strippers, next to a couple making out and 3 other f-tards who were still drunk from Rehab. I came up with things that stood out the me as what made the weekend, here's the short list:

- The complete lack of sleep needed to power through 72+ hours of Las Vegas. Me, Mike and William landed in Vegas and started drinking at about 11:15PM. We checked into the hotel the next day sometime after 3PM. So we stayed out and drank and wandered Vegas for 15 hours. No long until you consider that we'd all been awake since 6AM the day before.and slept maybe an hour or two on the plane rides out West.

- William's unending tenacity to drink. Did you have that Gin & Tonic at the airport?

- Baum's blazer - this got us into Sapphire very quickly.

- Baum's t-shirt - it said "touch my titties" in Thai

- Beer pong at 3PM on a Sunday

- Drinking Eiffel Towers at 6AM. Twice.

- Throwing up on the moving walkway of the Bellagio because of the Eiffel Towers.

- While walking to Strip, being recognized and stopped by strippers we'd apparently met the night before but nobody remembered.

- Gambling only $1 the whole trip.

- The guy who threw a cigarette at us then just stared at it waving. Please refer to JP's impression.

- Vasant being slapped by a stripper for no apparent reason.

- Baum being slapped by a stripper for a very apparent reason.

- Me and Jay puffing on Monte Cristos at Playboy Club.

- Dinner at Fix. Twice.

- Beer Monster at 7:30AM with 6 people in one bathroom.

- the original Beer Monster:

- William and his fucking bacon

all in all, fantastic trip and now I'm going to get sleep as I don't have a voice anymore and I haven't slept in days.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Girls are pretty

I like girls. Good, now we have got that out of the way, I also like girls that rock. Below are some pretty good examples. I recently got the ablum This Gift by Sons and Daughters and have been listening to it constantly.

But before I begin, YouTube found it clever to disable embedding some videos. So you'll have to be less lazy and click through to the youtube page of a few of these. I know it's hard for people as lazy as you, but dammit, I have faith in you. Do it! Click the link!

So let's go ahead and try something:
(click here if video does not work)
Also recommended: Sons & Daughters - Gilt Complex

While not technically a girl, Mark Ronson did work with a few on some tracks of his own:
(click here if video doesn't work)
Also recommended: Mark Ronson - Toxic. Yes, the Toxic by Britney Speats. And, yes, that is Tiggers and ODB)

Try on some Ting Tings
(click here if video does not work)
Also recommended: Ting Tings - Fruit Machine

Hot Toddies are in Seattle
(click here if video doesn't work)
sorry it's live, it was the only thing by them on the Tube. I'd listen to Photosynthesis by them if you can find it.

Lest I forget, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs must be represented as well:
(here again if video doesn't work)
I'd also recommend the Diplo remix of the same song:

One more, The Pipettes (try saying the name with a British accent and you'll get it right)
(link doesn't work, click here)
Also recommended: The Pipettes - Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me

Not to put a shit ton of music up at once, but Mike posting his mix on his blogblogblog reminded me to post something here.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


Hahaha, oh Mike, you do the best Martin Lawrence impressions! But seriously, fuck you.

Anyways, I get the feeling you're going to get so blitzed at "Gameworks" that you're actually going to show your love for video games by having intercourse with one of the machines.

"It's my sex-box, and her name is 'Sony!'"

Tuesday, May 6, 2008


You so craaaaaazy!

My goal for Vegas is a picture of V-Sant (can we call him that? I love it!) with at least three, I really wish I didn't have to specify this, female nipples around his face. It's also acceptable if we can't see the nipples because they are pressed into his face/groin.

Iron Man is good, but it's no Batman Begins.

What the fuck is juice?

Monday, May 5, 2008

I can't stop shitting myself... no really.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

manila envelope

I see what Apple did. They want to be the cool kid on the block. They took the floppy drive off first, now they take out the DVD drive. But, dammit! I want my DVD drive! I like to watch movies! I like to be able to install games I buy! I like to put CDs on my computer! I don't want to have to buy all my movies and music from iTunes. And the Air would probably be a terrible choice for those of us that want only one computer. I mean, that 'virtual drive' thing is great--
"hold on, let me go to my second computer, put the disk in, go back to my Air to view the fancy virtual drive and pretend that I didn't just waste my goddamn time." If I am going to have just one computer, make it functional and make it useful. I don't want it to be useful 10 years from now when CDs are obsolete by always-on wireless networks--I want it to be useful now when not everywhere is a free wireless hot-spot.

Also, IBM Thinkpads are amazing machines. Perhaps they don't stylistically buff all their corners to a dull-white sheen, but damn do they build a solid, functional, all-purpose machine.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

No Not The Tiny Sausage Gun!

Dude, I can't believe you'd say that after Heath Ledger died. So not cool.

It can mean whatever the hell you want it to mean.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I like the way Snrub thinks!

The Prestige sucked because if Nolan hadn't used half the cast from Batman Begins in it the The Dark Knight would've come out last summer and we'd all be talking right now about how fucking awesome a movie experience it was.

I'll kill you.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Wait a minute-

I believe I changed my opinion upon seeing Batman Begins again, apologized, and agreed that it is fucking amazing. This may also be because I have a man-crush on Christian Bale and Chris Nolan, the latter because he is a sick director the former for many more troubling reasons. Go watch The Prestige, it's fucking amazing. And if you tell me you didn't like it because you saw the twist coming I'll punch you in the face.

The Dark Night trailer played before Harold and Kumar. Seeing it in theatre is even better. My mind just about exploded. "Yeah, my pants just got shorter because I don't like what I see."
Indy 4? I still believe in the Spielberg.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

I just shit myself...

Words can't describe my excitement for this movie.

I remember leaving "Batman Beings" being blown away. "Batman: Year One" had long been my favorite comic book I'd ever read, and what I had just witnessed made me so happy. I remember heading back to William's house afterwards to have some beers and remarking that the movie "was incredible." Mike laughed at me and told me I was an idiot. Maybe you were right Mike, given that my only argument was "I can't believe I just saw a movie about Batman that made the plot of the comic somewhat plausible, and was acted, scripted and shot incredibly well." This isn't really an argument for a movie being good I guess.

But a few weeks ago I read an article in the NYT, which finally hit the nail on the head for me (which is probably why they write for the NYT and I'm an asshole). But they summed it up in one phrase: "Batman Begins was a popcorn movie done incredibly well." And in the era of Jerry Bruckheimer bullshit I couldn't really remember a popcorn movie that I truly enjoyed. Maybe the original Matrix? I guess it was an incredibly well done popcorn movie on top of the fact is was based on my favorite comic... But the fact that they actually adapted it somewhat accurately is some kind of miracle (I still think the script writing for X-Men 3 was outsourced to a guy in India named Vijay Singh). Also,

I hope they make a "Back to the Future IV" too!


Friday, April 25, 2008

24 Hour Party People

I just saw the movie 24 Hour Party People. It's a pseudo-true movie about the Manchester music scene from the late 70's to 90's-ish. I say pseudo-true because it's a real story, but just made more interesting. As stated in the movie "I agree with John Ford, when you have to choose between the truth and the legend, print the legend." Check out the trailer below then ad it to your netflix queue.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Blow Up Like The World Trade

I don't know if you guys saw this but we've been featured on a kick ass blog.

This shit's about to take off!

Friday, April 18, 2008

All vaguely familiar...

Remember the 80's? Well apparently DVNO does. Have fun trying to name all the spots.

Sunday, April 13, 2008


I don't know why but this video is off the hook. It might be that the backing band appears to be the bastard offspring of Michael Stipe and a troll doll.

We've been lamenting the state of music but I do think we've ignored the kick ass music that's out there now. The White Stripes and Modest Mouse? I fucking love The White Stripes and Modest Mouse! I've seen The Stripes live and this summer I'm planning to see Modest Mouse. Sure, I'll never get to see The Clash but there are some genius acts out there that make this a great time for music.

Newer bands.

The Vampire Weekend album is solid, fun stuff. "Campus" is probably my favorite song. The Foals have a good album out (with some lyrics that indicate a rivalry with Vampire Weekend). The new Raconteurs album is really good, nothing on it that jumps out as a single but really good stuff. Some people would castrate me for this comparison but it reminds me of Exile on Main Street for some reason.

I hate you all. Or do I?

Monday, April 7, 2008

How Do We Make Money?

So we've identified the problem, an alternative solution and now we need to turn these ideas into $$$!

Red Capitalism Lion Gooooo!

Would a radio station playing a mix of "good" music work? Is radio so far gone as a platform that your audience wouldn't even be aware you existed?

I read recently that a station in NYC that had been classic rock was expanding their library. They still play classic rock but now mix in new rock music believing the classic rock audience still wants to discover new artists. They've had some moderate success.

What astonishes me is the impact TV and film have on bands. A song plays during the closing credits of Grey's Anatomy and the next day they're blowing up iTunes. iPod commercials have great songs you never hear on the radio. If you need further proof, Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah topped the iTunes charts after an American Idol contestant covered it. There are people out there finding good music but it never finds its way to the mainstream unless Trojan-horsed into their living rooms.

You need to find a way to package new, great artists in a familiar context if you ever want a venue to break emerging talent.

And I refuse to italicize American Idol. I'm a god damn iconoclast.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Not only is British TV more original, but so is British music

Have you noticed that British music is generally more innovative and combines more styles than American music? Just as the BBC helps innovate TV, it helps innovate music. BBC radio plays a huge variety of styles on one channel. Anyone who has listened to the legendary late DJ John Peel knows that you can go from listening to trance to tabla drums to rock. Most BBC radio is like this, and this leads to performers getting a much larger musical background than their American counterparts.

Think about American radio for a second: How many (non-college) stations can you name that, within the same hour, would play hip hop, classic rock and jazz? American radio stations are constructed such that each style of music gets further entrenched in its own style. Country fans listen to nothing but country, hip hop fans have their own station, pop has its own too. There is no cross-over. I heard something on NPR about this about a year ago and it stuck with me. The guy said that in America "white music gets whiter and black music gets blacker." While that is a generalization, it's pretty close to the truth. I can't think of many any hit American artists that blend styles. Sure, there are some, but I said hit artists.

Say what you will about the following artists (I'm sure my supporting crew could think of some better ones), but they mixed wildly different styles and came up with something more original than most American music has been able to offer. Radiohead, Amy Winehouse, The Streets, Joss Stone, M.I.A. and The Libertines have all mixed different styles will success.
If I was stuck with only one music source, I would definitely listen to the BBC. At least I wouldn't lock myself into one style.

I mean, right now on the home-page of 6 Music there are pictures of Radiohead, Dizzee Rascal, and Bob Dylan.

(For a full flavor of all the BBC channels go to

Thursday, April 3, 2008

E-Brake = Winslow

I find your argument largely derivative of similar arguments William has made in the past, particularly in regards to That 70's Show. So an American blogger rips off the argument of a British blogger about American TV ripping off British TV? That's some zen shit there, my friends. I think I just heard a tree falling in a forest.

I'm assuming you don't watch enough BBC to notice the incredible short life spans of most British TV shows. Here in lies the answer to your question.

According to the internet, the BBC operates through public funding. Strictly speaking, they are not a business. When some witty Brit has a humdinger (I wish I knew some British slang) of an idea they pitch the idea and with little consideration of commercial success the best ideas are plucked out from an immense pool of talent. If picked up the show creators get busy making some TV. Ratings are certainly a concern but not from a revenue sense leaving creators with greater control. Shows rarely have a team of writers so after a one or two season burst of creativity most shows die because their creators are tired of doing them or have simply run out of ideas. The network has no economic incentive to milk the show so something new takes it's place.

This is over-simplified but demonstrates why British TV is inevitable more innovative then American. It should also be noted it's almost impossible to break into British TV if you aren't British since the BBC's mission serves the people. This partially explains America's aversion to such a system. That and a dogmatic dismissal of certain strands of socialism.

Meanwhile, American TV networks invest significantly more time and money into their shows. If someone walked into your office asking for $10 million to make a car show you'd wonder who the hell will watch it. Another guys comes in with a hit British TV show and gaudy ratings numbers to widely gesticulate at and he asks for $10 million? Well, which decision would you rather have to defend when the show fails and your job's on the line?

R.E.M., Modest Mouse and The National are touring together this summer. This is the most important thing to ever happen.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

America the Unoriginal

American television, for at least the last decade, has been one of the most unoriginal, bland sources of entertainment available. Why? Well, look at a list of everything good we’ve ripped off from the British trying to make it our own shitty US version:

- Coupling became Friends
- Pop Idol became American Idol
- The Office became…well, The Office
- And now, we’re getting Top Gear…except it will be called “Ameircan Top Gear” or “Top Gear USA” or something idiotic like that.

Yes, NBC has picked up the rights to produce a US version of one of the biggest shows on the BBC – Top Gear. Usually, I’d be stoked but I know what this means: they’ll take an excellent program and try to throw a new spin on it by setting it in America. Wow, that’s clever, taking a concept that’s already been extensively covered by one country and milking it for all it’s worth for the US market. There are no flaws to this plan.

Oh, except the one gearhead TV personality that is the most logical choice to co-host the show, Jay Leno, thinks this is a terrible idea. Why? Because, like every show I listed above, Leno feels that recycling a similar idea that’s worked great doesn’t always translate to success. Top Gear is clever and enjoyable due to it’s dry, British…I’ll say that again BRITISH sense of humor and the three friends, Hammond, May & Clarkson, that host the show.

Leno knows that a US version of Top Gear will never do the original the justice it deserves for being a truly entertaining show for both car enthusiasts and non-enthusiasts…come on NBC, is it that hard to see this logic? Do you really think you can recreate the camaraderie and humor of a clip like this? I don’t think you can:

I wish I understood why some of the largest media companies in the US who have access to so many creative minds cannot produce a single original concept. This is also a direct explanation of why they’re now making an A-Team movie and we’ve been given the rehash of Knight Rider. America, F*#! Yeah!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I'm Serial!

Since it's a list of influential 90's bands with the restriction they formed and initially released in the 90's (I don't think Nirvana technically meets these requirements, although I believe Dave Grohl didn't join until '91 so I guess you could argue that), I think Weezer deserves to be in there, particularly considering their obvious influence on a number of pop-rock outfits today. The pop-emo sound of Fall Out Boy and other bands certainly owes itself to their influence. The worst part is I don't like most of the bands they influenced.

On that note, some people would argue Sunny Day Real Estate. I wouldn't. But, I mean, someone might.

What about The Red Hot Chili Peppers?

Certainly some worthwhile material released in the '80's but "Blood Sugar Sex Magic" really saw them hit their stride and is probably what the average person first remembers.

Offspring? "Smash" still kicks ass.

Sugar Ray? Smashmouth?

Man, what a decade!

"I am Rock 'n Roll!"

How could you forget the most influential band of the '90's? Their career may have been short lived but this only intensifies the creative burst that marked their time at the top.

It's 4:30 in the morning and I'm watching Airheads.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Art time forgot

Commence initial drunk brilliant blog posting sequence. Engage. I heard this song for the first time since 1996 a couple days ago and it was fucking incredible. I honestly think I bought the cassette single to this song before some bullshit class trip to North Carolina. I don't even remember. But really one of the few songs I've heard from that era that somewhat holds up to music standards of music criticism today.

And when you think about it, it is incredibly sad if you try to list the music acts from the the 90's (formed and released in the 90's) that will actually matter decades from now. I'm talking mainly rock right now, Hip Hop in this 90's was still a relatively young genre that created many influential and currently prominent music careers. But rock, on the other hand, is somewhat depressing:

Rage Against the Machine
Weezer (The fact that this is somewhat questionable hurts my soul)
Jeff Buckley
The Flaming Lips
Nine Inch Nails
Smashing Pumpkins
Seal (Batman Forever Soundtrack bitch!)

And that's about it.... I'm drunk and I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. I'll leave it to my three best friends to add on/rip me a new one.