Monday, June 30, 2008

Quantum of Solace

I'm looking forward to this movie more than I am the new Batman movie. Seriously, if this isn't as good as Casino Royale I'm probably going to cry. Thankfully, this just released teaser trailer looks promising:

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Star Wars

I just can't seem to get excited about Clone Wars. I'm so underwhelmed that I lack the energy to complain about it...

See the trailer here.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

I really miss this show.

Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins

I am really confused here.
Maybe you have heard more of this than I have--considering I just heard of it 6 minutes ago--but there is a Terminator 4 in the works.
And, um, the cast looks interesting: Christian Bale is John Conner. Schwarzenegger is not in it.
Rumor is that it will likely be PG-13, while this was a bad thing for Aliens v Predator, Batman Begins was PG-13 and was awesome.
I don't really know much about the director other than he goes by "McG"... Kinda lame name. [see edit below]
I gather this from the links at Wikipedia:
Christian Bale stars as John Connor, the man fated to lead the human resistance against Skynet and its army of Terminators. But the future Connor was raised to believe in is altered in part by the appearance of Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington), a stranger whose last memory is of being on death row. Connor must decide whether Marcus has been sent from the future, or rescued from the past. As Skynet prepares its final onslaught, Connor and Marcus both embark on an odyssey that takes them into the heart of Skynet's operations, where they uncover the terrible secret behind the possible annihilation of mankind.(link to original article)
There is an IMDB page too.

Making things more interesting is the fact that a teaser trailer will be shown at The Dark Night. I am eager to see it, but, after Terminator 3, have no expectations yet for this. I'm going to try to hold back on wild speculation until I see the teaser. But the rest of you are free to speculate as you wish. You may begin now.

I just came across this which makes me feel a bit better about the director. It's the movie site/official blog or something. The part I like is that he admits his name is ridiculous. He also says that "
the movie comes first and it will be protected at all times" about the PG-13/R rating.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Death Race 9 billion + 11

It's the year 2008, it's been 33 years since someone felt the need to make a movie as bad as Death Race 2000:

The original starred the guy from Kung Fu and sometimes called Bill as Frankenstein who races across the US, killing everyone in the process that he can for extra points. The movie is quentisential camp. It's poorly shot, low budget, has an essentially pointless plot and worst of all it has Sylvester Stallone as Joe Viterbo - probably the most offense stereotype I've ever seen portrayed for Italians. So really, when you think about it there's absolutely no reason why a normal person would subject themselves to this steaming pile of 1970's dogshit. Thankfully, I have zero credit for taste in movies( thank you Point Break) so I bought it. Jay and I watched it and I think the movie was only 72 minutes long if that gives you any indication as to how it went.

Well, again, it's the year 2008 and some jackass in the infinite lack of creativity that is Hollywood has decided to make a sequel(of sorts) of a movie deemed terrible in the 70's. This one stars Jason Statham - who's made progressively worse movies since he was in Snatch - as a former NASCAR driver(He's fucking British?!) who is wrongly accused of murdering his wife and forced to compete in Death Race. So imagine The Fugitive and then remove everything good about that and then add cars with guns and you have you this movie. So to make a long story short - Mike hurry up and move to LA and make good movies. Here's the trailer for the gallon of dung that could also fill one Oops-I-Crapped-My-Pants diaper:

Friday, June 13, 2008

If you can't create, update!

This post is brought to you by John Kricfalusi. You may know him as the creator of Ren and Stimpy. He has this great blog where he breaks down cartoons, good design and generally bitches about things. In his latest post he references this NYT article that craps on everything good about cartoons. To make it more relevant to Andrew. Imagine a horrible re-invention of Batman. Okay, now that you have Batman and Robin in your mind, you know what I am talking about.

Some of it sounds horribly thought out: "Warner Brothers hopes to “reinvigorate and reimagine” Bugs Bunny and Scooby-Doo through a new virtual world on the Internet." Wow, what vision! The internet! Welcome to 1996!

What really hurts me is this: "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will [be revived] next year in new video games where they will have more muscles and less attitude." Yes. Please. Make this generic. I like bland, watered down characters that all look and act the same. I would like a generic punch-'em-up where the characters can be interchanged with any other character. More muscles and less attitude! What!? And they will be surprised when it doesn't catch on. I would not be surprised if one exec recommended, "What if we used people instead of turtles." I imagine that the developers next door are working on a new X-men, but without the "X-" prefix because it won't connect with kids. And let's take away the mutant powers, that could be to hard for a kid to relate to.

Also, the term "fruit-forward" was mentioned too many times in that article... Or not enough!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Andrew, get ready to shit yourself.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Monday, June 2, 2008

Sin City

OK, we're back from Vegas. It was a crazy weekend and one worth every hour of sleep missed and every penny spent to get there and through it. Vegas is a weird place with no inhibitions or limits. I received a text when I was driving home from my friend Emily that just read "Welcome back to reality." Fitting because Sin City is exactly that: a surreal place where the normal laws of the universe don't seem to apply. More on this later..

In flying back I was recapping the weekend on the first leg of my flights back home while stuck behind 3 ugly strippers, next to a couple making out and 3 other f-tards who were still drunk from Rehab. I came up with things that stood out the me as what made the weekend, here's the short list:

- The complete lack of sleep needed to power through 72+ hours of Las Vegas. Me, Mike and William landed in Vegas and started drinking at about 11:15PM. We checked into the hotel the next day sometime after 3PM. So we stayed out and drank and wandered Vegas for 15 hours. No long until you consider that we'd all been awake since 6AM the day before.and slept maybe an hour or two on the plane rides out West.

- William's unending tenacity to drink. Did you have that Gin & Tonic at the airport?

- Baum's blazer - this got us into Sapphire very quickly.

- Baum's t-shirt - it said "touch my titties" in Thai

- Beer pong at 3PM on a Sunday

- Drinking Eiffel Towers at 6AM. Twice.

- Throwing up on the moving walkway of the Bellagio because of the Eiffel Towers.

- While walking to Strip, being recognized and stopped by strippers we'd apparently met the night before but nobody remembered.

- Gambling only $1 the whole trip.

- The guy who threw a cigarette at us then just stared at it waving. Please refer to JP's impression.

- Vasant being slapped by a stripper for no apparent reason.

- Baum being slapped by a stripper for a very apparent reason.

- Me and Jay puffing on Monte Cristos at Playboy Club.

- Dinner at Fix. Twice.

- Beer Monster at 7:30AM with 6 people in one bathroom.

- the original Beer Monster:

- William and his fucking bacon

all in all, fantastic trip and now I'm going to get sleep as I don't have a voice anymore and I haven't slept in days.