Saturday, June 14, 2008

Death Race 9 billion + 11

It's the year 2008, it's been 33 years since someone felt the need to make a movie as bad as Death Race 2000:

The original starred the guy from Kung Fu and sometimes called Bill as Frankenstein who races across the US, killing everyone in the process that he can for extra points. The movie is quentisential camp. It's poorly shot, low budget, has an essentially pointless plot and worst of all it has Sylvester Stallone as Joe Viterbo - probably the most offense stereotype I've ever seen portrayed for Italians. So really, when you think about it there's absolutely no reason why a normal person would subject themselves to this steaming pile of 1970's dogshit. Thankfully, I have zero credit for taste in movies( thank you Point Break) so I bought it. Jay and I watched it and I think the movie was only 72 minutes long if that gives you any indication as to how it went.

Well, again, it's the year 2008 and some jackass in the infinite lack of creativity that is Hollywood has decided to make a sequel(of sorts) of a movie deemed terrible in the 70's. This one stars Jason Statham - who's made progressively worse movies since he was in Snatch - as a former NASCAR driver(He's fucking British?!) who is wrongly accused of murdering his wife and forced to compete in Death Race. So imagine The Fugitive and then remove everything good about that and then add cars with guns and you have you this movie. So to make a long story short - Mike hurry up and move to LA and make good movies. Here's the trailer for the gallon of dung that could also fill one Oops-I-Crapped-My-Pants diaper:


William said...

The original will probably still be better...

E-Brake said...

dude - as sad as that movie is - I absolutely agree with you.